e great expectations

2006-09-24T08:07:00.000-07:00

I just wanna cry it all out.
Please lord help me to go on loving her.

2006-08-24T09:01:00.000-07:00

I feel like i'm having a thomas crown affair. Yes its just so what the fuck. Its degrading and complete disreguard for me at all. The imcompetance is killing every bit of my creativity. Completely off the charts i swear. My estaticness is just crazy nuts. I wish that bam! Someone will be sent to love and protect me. Like i always say a dream is a wish you make with your heart. Difficult yet not impossible. Nevertheless is all BULL! Crap i need the little voice in my head where has it gone too.
This is bullshit!

2006-08-14T01:41:00.000-07:00

Should i be crying?
Cause i feel like doing just that.
Sigh

I'm in sucha mess i swear i have phycological problems. i can't eat, can't sleep. I barely slept for the past 4 days Help! sigh the night before i slept at 5 and woke up at 8. Last Night i slept at 4 and woke up at 7. What in the world is wrong with me? I can barely eat a quarter of my meals. I've ran out of excuses to tell my mum. I myself want to know why i'm having sucha a disorder. Right now i just want to kick back and drown myself in Hong Kong dramas. I need to let it out so hence sorry blog have to do it on you. I need to go to a psyhcologist for help serious. Maybe i'm going to find a new doctor for help. Sigh this sucks. Get well soon els.!

2006-08-09T23:19:00.000-07:00

A dream is a wish you make with your heart..
And yesterday night i dreamt of you honey...
Wonder when i can see you again..
i miss you..
i really do..
sigh..

Newsflash this just in, I MISS YOU..

2006-08-03T08:46:00.000-07:00

sigh this is all bull!
Should i cry?
Should i smile?
Mixed emotions..
Killing me...

Well anyway i'm excited abt school next year. Laptop! Guess i should stop spending and start saving wanna get a good one. yay sch rocks. Financial planner thats what i wanna be ok alot of ppl will think that its inpossible for me but i can do it. i know i can.

Aight shut off, buns to bed.

2006-07-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

Goodness Zoo was a killer think it became bigger. My legs hurt walking round it, but saw many cute but stinky animals i love the otters and the snakes and the hissing cockaroaches lol they all got freaked out. i've got pictures i swear but i've got to find a way to upload this shit into the com so many tomorrow guys. Just got home, oh oh the Crocs were huge since i went there like when i was a kid. Oli i will never forget your fear for snakes so is KY and darling. I swear i looked like a mother looking after kids, brought 2 bottles of water and many snacks. Amazing how the water all went away so quickly but i must say it was rather scorching today though it threatened to rain when we first arrive. Ben & Jerry's a rip off guys seriously. Never eat their ice cream its so waste of money goodness. I figured by the time we reached the monkey's we were all shacked and we saw pretty weird stuff i must say. And pasta mania never tasted so good before, think it was the hunger that brought out the beast in all of us lol. We ate pizza and pasta gosh it was filling and i've come to a conclusion that pasta's Pizza are damn anyhow made. The han and mushroom weren't even like fully cooked or what la cheat my money. Well anyway no more pasta mania for me enough already. Next time its back to normal food for me, felt the yuck in it after i finished the meal. And my stupid sister decided to stay out for the night again dammit. Actually dont come home better, then i can have the tv and com to myself and no one will disturb me. Wonder if mum would buy for me the hong kong show? I love the show to bits la its like damn good. Mum i want it buy for me i dont care! Leg pain help dear, i desperately need an isqueeze badly foot hurts. Ok i'm like bored cause dear's like studying and i gotta wait for her to call. Hurry dearest i miss you, sigh nvm gonna snooze now.

2006-07-20T09:20:00.000-07:00

How was your day everyone? I had fun at east coast esp. Miss you dearest. And might i say steph was bring a nut head at east coast talking rubbish and all right dearest. Pasta mania was yuck haha no la the rest enjoyed it. This is boring my stomach hurts. I want to watch my show on channel 55 argh no one is letting me watch i'm angry now! Oh well i miss you dear and i hope that you will hurry finish your work so you will sleep well now. sigh. Movies tomorrow yay! Damn my stomact hurts think i got gastric. okok Zoo on sat too. alright too much action already. I think clique dearest we should start planning for shoots and steph's birthday so we'll know how to sabo them lol. okok i better not talk too much. nappy time

2006-07-18T23:45:00.000-07:00

Sigh. What a way to start an entry. I'm glad to see daddy getting better went to get him just now from the hospital. Glad he still could think of toto and 4D at least i know he's alright. I don't know why am i so in the slumps. Woke up 3 times last night to puke, i swear i wished i died. Couldn't sleep, so many sleepless nights yet i couldn't reach for the shoulder i could lean on. For the first time in many years i feel alone again. Going back to MDIS soon. Doing diploma hope i can pass this course but first i gotta save up for my laptop. Sigh International Business here i come. Don't know if i can cope anot hope i can hope i don't screw this like how i screwed my other classes. Please let me do well for my diploma so i can move up. Intending to stay in MDIS till i graduate with a degree. I just miss you now honey. Wish you were here for me to hug. Sigh so many things to save for before sch. Need laptop, need new clothes, need cash and many more. Hope baby can help me study harder. Love you darling. I hate cough can't sleep and keep vomiting dammit. Should just slit my throat and die.

2006-07-18T07:27:00.000-07:00

No calls, No messages just a silent phone.
Sigh daddy's in hospital hope he'll be fine soon. Been looking after him for the past 2 days he had an operation today saw so much pain in his eyes. Almost made me cry. Sigh guess i should stop pestering. Thats that. Hope daddy will get well soon. Tomorrow will go bring him home. sigh. I just cant do anything more so much pain in my head and my heart. Night yall.

2006-07-10T20:34:00.000-07:00

Times are changing over and over again. Things just dont go straight its up and down. I miss you dear, i miss you alot. Yesterday when i couldnt hear your voice i just cried. Why must you be so cruel as to make me miss you so but all you do is leave? Do i not mean anything much to you? You mean the world to me, you mean everything thats good. Sometimes i'm irritating and all but its all beacause i love you i dont wanna lose you. Do i love you, yes. But can you say the same for yourself? Sigh Lost is just how i feel. Why is it i cant bear to let you leave? Why must you mean so much to me. If only i could not love you this much, if only i could see you happy. If only i could turn and walk away to see you smile again. Sorry for causing so much trouble for you. Sorry for being me. Maybe i'm too naggy or something, sigh if only i knew what to do. If only i knew how to please you. Why oh Why must i be so useless, so useless to fall in so deep. When i say i love you i do mean it all the time i do love you with all my heart. If only i was a better person then you wouldnt want to leave me all the time. All i can put in words for you baby, is i love you. I promise that from this day forth all i want is to see you smile again. To see how much you enjoy my company, how offen you call me baby, dear, darling, honey or sweetie. I miss those days where we can do the things we want whenever we want. You may not love me anymore or not as much but please know that every tear i drop means a little bit of my heart scattered. There's nothin more i want now then to love you. sigh. I guess this is what my heart wants to tell you. Maybe tomorrow there wont be a us anymore. But know i will always love you like i promised when you asked me how long. I said always thats how i really feel. Baby if you had to leave please know you're my heart. Thank you.

2006-07-09T21:29:00.000-07:00

hello i'm like back. stupid com still dying goodness. oh well. EMDD was dots not worth 25 dollars. we were like all sweating like crazy anyway got my new phone new number if those who dont have my new number come ask from me thanks. well my com is like crazy. better faster blog or else it'll off again madness. anyway i'm hungry need to find food now.

2006-04-25T05:35:00.000-07:00

good day everyone. her comp is currently SPOILT. AGAIN. and i'm here to save the day!
i haven 't done this in a long time. but. :) i'll start again. she's upset that she can't blog.
and i've managed to squeeze in time to blog for her! she's really cute. really.

my sweetie! and she met me today. THAT IS THE HIGHLIGHT OF HER WEEK!!! lalala.

2006-04-19T17:58:00.000-07:00

Morning lol. think i'm like the weirdest person on earth. Everyday wake up so early just to blog. Actually its not that its cause i always wake up at 9 everyday. But today i woke up at like 8.30 so went to bathe first den turned on the computer. Still not feeling well this morning sigh. Hate being sick cant even be mobile just have to lie down and sleep. Hope it rains heavily again haha sorry to ppl who doesnt want it to rain. I want the air con breeze, i miss having air con. Oooh Oprah's on lol. I want to eat macdonald argh i dont care. What am i going to do on saturday hmm. Think i need to find new things to do at home slacking. Alone at home now val's not even home from her friends 'party' and i am bored like crazy. Oh yar martin morning is very cute lol watched yesterday morning's one. Cant believe i slept so early last night goodness i wanted to sleep like late since i finally dont have to fight with val for the tv at night to watch star movie shows. Well just found out that she can't meet tomorrow either sigh this is always so unfair to me. :( I just want to be alone right now which is good cause i always am!

2006-04-19T01:40:00.000-07:00

Today is fun i am sick and it rained like nuts. But it was alright la get to rest. Just ate my instant porridge it was alright since the last time my mum burnt the whole damn pot goodness. I hate being sick its so hard to do things sigh was suppose to go out today but in the end never. Well she's got so many things going on in school sigh. Today's martin morning damn cute. Periods always get to me i hate it alot. Sigh bad mood swings probably caused alot of misunderstandings sorry honey. I hate periods, Period. Sigh today's a long day. Ah well i'm off to play my gameboy now sigh.

2006-04-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

Simply can't stop smiling.
Things are just going great.
Days are finally becoming sunny again.
The images of you are becoming clearer.
Dreamt of you last night, it felt so real. First we were in some hawker centre eating den we were in a ferrari race. What a stupid dream. This morning woke up at 9.30. Got up watched Oprah lol. I don't look like i'll watch it but deal i love the show. Not really feeling well this morning, sniffing like a crazy cow. And i think my handphone charger is screwed sigh i want my new phone. And ppl ppl IKEA is going to be opening in tampines yes you heard me right in TAMPINES. Guess it'll be quite a cool hang out after that. Applied for the job at IKEA but so did many many. Hope i get it think it'll be a pretty cool place to work at lol. Plus it'll be near my house no hassels. Alright i usually hate the mornings cause there wouldnt be any shows on tv around this time. Since i'm a disney kid i'm like watching the Martin Mystery on Disney channel. I'm hungry man no shit feel like eating but i'm craving for so many things at once what should i eat. Yesterday was like so cloudy but today morning its so sunny. But rainy is good cause i can sleep with nature's own aircon lol. This is boring, promised babe to blog but got nothin much to really blog abt. Think tomorrow going out with my ex secondary school clique haha seems like i'm old. Scary thought actually but my birthday's not for a few more months hmmm the big two-O is finally here. Babe's in school sorta messaging me now. :) Boring! Home slacking can be kinda fun i guess. Damn getting more hungry. Hmmm KFC? or MACS? or coffeeshop food?

2006-04-15T09:17:00.000-07:00

My oh my i woke up at like 10 haha thats never happend for so long, i've always woke up at 9 sharp everyday. Well nothing much on tv switched here and there finally found a decent movie. Jeepers Creepers 2 gotta love it i say. Ate my carrot cake that papa fried :) yummy. Nothin much happened after that cause everyone went to sleep. Mum woke up at like 4 den she started being cranky but oh well they gave me money. watched charlie's angels on AXN damn funny. Den i realised it was like 5, i panicked and faster went to change cause i was suppose to go town to meet her. Walked to the MRT station den took a train down to town. Than had to walk all the way from orchard MRT to lucky plaza there haha i know it aint that far. ah well the rest of the day was just pure fun fun and more fun. Ate pasta than they went to dome frans cafe to sit and we played uno stako and like some stupid card game haha. Well den babe wanted to walk awhile more so walked till like we heard the sutters all coming down for closing haha. Sent her home and here i am. listening to her breath through the phone haha. so cute.

2006-04-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

What a day, What a day. Well can't deny the damn weather was great, but the sad part was that the whole day practically i was alone at home. But i guess it was aight. My mum and dad and cheryl went to church in the afternoon than went to visit my aunt at novena area, val's playing bball and my maid went down. What a lonely day it was for me. Well guess it was a great day in the end. Wonderful things started happening as the night came. Thanks baby. Well my life is pretty much looking like it could be right again. Its just a wonderful feeling i have inside of me. Tomorrow, Tomorrow its only a day away. La La i'm so happy i just wanna sing my heart out so the neighbours will throw something at me and tell me to shut up but i don't care i just wanna sing out loud. So the whole world will know i'm a happy happy person today. Ok anyway fasted the whole day am proud cause i know God knows i care about everything i believe in. Dad just finished eating dinner so did i cause it juz pass 12. And stupid val decided to stay out again sigh alone again sleeping in my room. But than again its ok cause i'm happy. Getting late but i can't really sleep. Usually i'll count sheeps lame i know but who knows it actually works funny eh. Damn i'm hungry think i'll just like cook noodles or something. Can't wait for tomorrow yay <-- haha babe thought me how to spell that. Finally tomorrow i get to see her, she's like the cutest thing you'll ever come across i tell you. But no no no, no one else can love her i say no one. Aight shall go kill my kitchen now. Should stop now or i never will get to :) night yall.

2006-04-11T21:15:00.000-07:00

Actually slacking at home isn't really all that bad really. Its actually quite fun, slacking is great. But i gotta savour it while i have it. Looking for work hoping i find one soon than at least i could get some income to spend on some things for myself. I'm thinking of some stuff i should get, like a new phone yeah my phone's kinda dying. Yeah kinda aiming for either 6280 or 6680, wonder which one is better?
In a while i'll be alone at home guess thats good for me at least i can fall asleep abit. Well no one wants to bother bout me so what the hell. She's in sch and val's going out and my maid and cheryl is like out. MOS hmmm MOS got no idea if i'm going or not, its kinda bringing me alot of problems. Not only must i pay like 18 bucks for the tickets i have to like mingle, thats not something i'm really good at. I'll probably see some people i know there so i guess its not all that bad. Well things between us i guess can say going well yet not really, i don't really know actually. Somehow i still don't really know what she's really thinking and what she really wants of us. But all i'll say is i love u honey study hard and i hope our idea will be approved. Although i kinda figured you wont see this but wadever its my anger management stradegy.

2006-04-10T22:48:00.000-07:00

oh man! oh man! i finally have a place to rant and vent.
now now wad can i say. oh ya things are just going fine i guess.
its a lucky thing i have this wonderful HTML book i love it alot.
mum got it for me years ago.
i'm being bored at home as usual. its kinda a nice day to rest.
well i don't have interesting rants to shout in here cause i'm
at home like all day. But i love the no worry life.
no work no school no brainstorming.
aight aight. now i'm tired.

2006-04-10T21:20:00.000-07:00

hello hello testing testing.
aight guess this will be my private rant.
haha well things are starting to look right for me.
if she's happy i'm super happy.